I’ve been thinking this week a lot about the verse in 2 Corinthians 12:9 where God says to Paul, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” It seems to me that there are a lot of ways to absorb this verse, and from where I’m sitting this moment, none of them are easy. The context of the passage is that Paul is telling about some sort of ‘thorn’ in his flesh that he’s asked God to take away, and God has chosen not to. We’ve all been there, I’m guessing. I’m there now. I’ve been asking God to intervene on a couple things, and so far, He has chosen not to, or at least the intervention isn’t what I’ve asked for and I’m not seeing progress… So. The question is, what am I supposed to do with the words, “My grace is sufficient for you.” ?
I don’t know the answer to this question. I know how I’m trying to walk this, but honestly, I have doubts. I don’t doubt God. I don’t doubt that His view of the larger picture makes Him more able to make the better decisions, but I do doubt my part in the whole shebang. So, what am I doing? Well…
First, I am concentrating on being thankful. I’m making more of an effort to actually see the blessings around me. Every day that I wake up next to Karl, in a safe and comfortable home, is a gift. Every sunset, view of the big dipper, flower bloom, text from a friend – they are all gifts I can’t take lightly.
Second, I am looking for how this experience is growing and changing me. I do feel a bit different. I’ve never been very patient before, and now I know I am much more capable of and willing to ‘wait upon the Lord’. For someone who loves being in control and taking charge, that’s a huge step.
Third, I am more able to live in the moment, concentrating on just today. I’ve spent my life with my head in tomorrow. I’ve lived looking forward, planning, working towards goals. Since I’m not exactly sure what the future holds anymore, I am becoming more and more able to just be here today.
James 1 says we are to ‘consider it pure joy’ when trials and troubles come our way. Apparently, according to James, these trials perfect us, teach us, help us to become mature. There’s this little donna in my head that would rather throw a temper tantrum, and she’s having nothing at all to do with counting her problems as joyful. However, the other donna, the one with the grey hairs and achy hip, recognizes the wisdom in the advice.
