Karl and I took an excursion to the Grand Canyon recently, and I just can’t get it off my mind. I know in my brain that I stood at the edge of the rim, and I know that what I was seeing was a canyon about ten miles across and about a mile or so deep. I stood there and I saw it. But somehow, I can’t actually fathom it all. We walked and drove along the south rim for the entire day, looking at it from different angles. Changing, ragged vistas lay in front of us showing a riot of colors and moods as the light changed through the day. Reds and greys morphed into more dusty browns and mauves as clouds began covering the endless blue sky of the morning. In the later afternoon we watched as snow squalls (It was a whole 33 degrees while we where there!) approach the far rim then drop into the canyon. As the storm moved towards us the canyon disappeared and snow swirled. Even so, I drove away at the end of the day certain that I didn’t have a full understanding of what I’d observed. Perhaps if I flew over it, or rode a donkey down into it, or maybe if I floated down the Colorado and witnessed the canyon from the bottom up, (all activities I would dearly love to do!) maybe then I might feel as if I had a working understanding of it.
As I’ve pondered my inability to actually grasp the size and beauty of the Grand Canyon, it occurs to me that I feel the same way about understanding God. I can’t. I try, but I am unable to completely take Him in to my intellectual mind. I do know Him. I see Him in my life, I feel Him as He moves in my soul, but I can’t quite grasp who He is. I delve deep, I explore Him from different perspectives. I listen to sermons, I read His word, I ponder Jesus’ life and teachings, I look at the majesty of the world God created, and yet. And yet I am sure that I don’t know Him as I truly desire to.
All this pondering has taken me let me know one thing for certain. I will probably always be a tourist at the Grand Canyon. Maybe I’ll someday ride that donkey or float those rapids, but I can’t imagine ever knowing the area so completely that it is part of me and I of it. But with God, I am not willing to remain just a tourist. I am willing to spend the energy and resources it takes to immerse myself in His grace so that He is a part of me and I of Him.
