In the past six to eight months I have ‘owned’ the Bible verses in Philippians 4:4-9. Or, I am trying to own them. It began when I was having a terrible time sleeping because I just kept worrying about anything and everything during the night. My mind gets on this unrelenting loop of worries and won’t stop, so I began memorizing and contemplating verse 8 : “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think on these things.” It has helped my sleep to go through this list and name things in my life that are true, noble, right, pure… or to think how I can be more admirable, excellent or praiseworthy in order to rejoice in the Lord.
In the past week, another part of this passage has jumped out at me. It’s the part that says, “Let your gentleness be evident to all, the Lord is near.” (verse 5) Now I’m about as gentle as a windstorm. I don’t feel very gentle at all in most instances. But there it is – in black and white words from God – not only am I supposed to BE gentle, I’m supposed to make sure that my gentleness is showing to all, not just a few people who happen to catch me at it! But that’s not all! The next verse says “The Lord is near.” Now in most situations, that verse would comfort me. It does comfort me. But, it also scares me, because since the Lord is near, it means He’s seeing my (lack of) gentleness showing (or not showing) to others. That’s – a gently 😉 – threatening verse right there. If I’m not gentle, my Creator is right there to see me bruise my way down the path. Yikes.
Maybe my hard time sleeping is His plan to give me time to figure out how to be gentle… hmmmm.
