I love the pastor at our church. He is a man about my age – ruddy completion, great exuberance, tall, always smiling, always loving. I look forward to his sermons, and I am touched on a weekly basis by something he says. Yesterday’s sermon was a Valentine’s Day message on love based on I Corinthians 13. Nothing new there- it’s called the Love Chapter, and I’m guessing I’ve heard – and many, many others have heard – sermons based on this text around Valentine’s Day. It’s just that yesterday Pastor Jeff said something that I’ve been grappling with for a long time. In recent weeks I finally feel like maybe I am making headway on understanding how much God cares for me – and while I understand in my head that salvation is a free, unearned gift from God to me (and everyone else!), I constantly hear the worry in my heart say I didn’t “accomplish enough” by the end of the day to have “earned my keep”.
Anyway – Pastor Jeff reminded me yesterday that we shouldn’t wake up each day and try to be loved by God, but instead just BE loved. I thought of how often I don’t get this. And not only in my relationship with God. I wonder if my husband loves me though I know for sure that I’m the center of his earthly life. On a regular basis I worry that Karl is mad at me when I know he’s tired or had a hard day. I doubt that anyone sees me as important when I know that’s just not real. I spend a lot of time each day working toward being worthy of love.
What a lie I tell myself when I let myself get caught in this trap. There actually is nothing I can do to make God love me more, because He CAN’T love me more than He already does. What a cool thing to own. It’s worth saying again…
There is actually nothing anyone can do to make God love us more, because He CAN’T love us more than He already does.
Wow.
Here’s my takeaway from Jeff’s sermon yesterday: I have to live loved before I can love others. The extension of that is this: When I live loved by God, then I can be free to love and be loved by others as well.
Have a great, loving week!
