God’s definition of safe and good

Since before I gave birth to my first baby, I have prayed for my children. Almost forty years later, those prayers have grown to include their spouses and their children.  The prayers for all of them are the same, I ask God to take care of them and keep them safe (among lots of other more specific requests).  When I have asked for them to be safe, I was asking God for what I envisioned: my children living healthy and out of harm’s way, you know, like no car wrecks or broken bones, no worrisome illnesses. No stalker boyfriends or bad influences. I was asking God to protect them from heart ache and trouble.

I am also very familiar with Romans 8:28 which says, ‘And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, whoⁱ have been called according to his purpose.’  And I love the promise in Matthew 7:11: ‘If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!’ Again, I have mostly pictured that goodness from God coming to my children in the form of happiness and contentment with side orders of a good education and good jobs, successful marriages and healthy/happy children of their own and nice homes.  I want to say right now, that God has indeed honored those prayers over all.  My children grew up safe and healthy. They had good friends as teens, and while they didn’t always make perfect choices, they didn’t make horrid ones that impact their lives now.  I praise God for that without a doubt.

But.  They have had their share of trouble.  There was that scary bout with mononucleosis that lasted over six months, there was a severed ligament in a big toe, a suspicious pre-cancerous mole, and an intense eight year old with the makings of an ulcer.  There were trips to the ER, tears and heart breaks.  Life in all its hardness has effected my children through the years and continues to try them now.

So. Has God not answered my prayers?  Has God chosen to go back on his promises and not worked for good for my children who love and know Him?  Has He somehow decided to give ugly gifts to them instead of good?  It’s become clear to me that God’s definition of good and safe are not necessarily the same as mine.  I want roses and sunshine. He wants growth and faith.  I want smiles and ease. He wants devotion and trust.  Looking back, I realize that my children are not the beautiful people they are because of the easy and ‘good’ times they’ve endured.  They are kind and thoughtful, resilient and resourceful, beautiful and loving people because of the hard times that kicked them around.  They learned to trust God and themselves as they sat bleeding and crying out. I am proud of who they are because God chose to do what was best for them, and answer my prayers according to His definition and not mine!