Reality Mirrors Fiction – for reals!

Sometimes reality mirrors fiction. I’m thinking of Jules Verne who invented cool contraptions in his novels written in the late 1800s that are now real.  Or, as in this week, my novel The Archer’s Perspective.  Let me explain. The Archer’s Perspective begins when the main character, her name is Piper, is riding her four-wheeler in the Sierra Madre Mountains of southern Wyoming and gets hit in the shoulder with an errant arrow.  She and her husband are forty miles from anywhere and she needs medical help.  In my story, she stays brave, and the sheriff’s department and a helicopter out of Rawlins are involved.

So now, the reality of my week just past:  we have been camping at the trailhead that leads to a wilderness area (the exact same place Piper was riding!).  It’s so beautiful here, calm and peaceful.  Riding the trails on our four-wheelers has been fun, and so has just sitting.  We’ve had an elk, lots of deer, and a fox walk right through our camp, the wind sighs peacefully above us through the trees, some of which are beginning to turn vivid yellow (also just like in Archer’s Perspective!).  We haven’t been totally isolated.  Twice friends have come up to spend time with us, and nearly every day someone we don’t know comes and parks nearby, waves hello then grabs a day pack and sets off into the woods for a hike. (This is a trailhead!)  Also added to our camping experience has been a large herd of sheep who are grazing nearby.  The sheep wagon is parked right next to us, though that isn’t where the herder stays, it’s only  the base camp for supplies. We’ve met and talked with the people who own the sheep when they come to bring supplies to the sheepherder, and we’ve met the herder himself.  His name is Oscar, he’s from Peru, and between my really malo Spanish and his limited English, we’ve gotten along famously.  Not that we see him or the sheep often, but just once in a while. The occasional chiming of the sheep bells has added to the fun of the trip.

So here’s when The Archer’s Perspective comes in…Several days ago, a sheriff’s truck drove up.  Karl’s mind raced for a minute, deciding if he’d done anything to occasion his visit, and was at once relieved and then alarmed to find out that the reason the sheriff had come calling is that Oscar had somehow found a signal with his cell phone from deep in the forest and called for help.  The connection was crackly and unclear, but the bottom line was that he’d been hurt and needed help.  The officer told Karl that an ambulance and helicopter were on their way, ETA  close to an hour.  Without hesitation, Karl did what Karl does.  He jumped on his four-wheeler and went in search of Oscar.

This is turning into a long story, so I will abbreviate it.  Since we’d been riding that road, we knew where Oscar’s camp was – over three and a half miles in on a tricky, rocky two-track, 4-wheel drive only road.  Karl decided to go there first, and thankfully, that is where he found Oscar. How Oscar’d gotten himself there from where he was hurt is beyond my imagining and my command of Spanish, but courage and fortitude gives us strength beyond what we’d expect.  Karl found him in his tent, suffering with the pain of several very broken ribs and a deep gash on his hand.  Rendering what first aid and encouragement he could, Karl kept an eye on Oscar, and stayed with him until reinforcements came.  Once the EMTs arrived, Karl went out to a nearby meadow to help guide the chopper in and also to secure and calm the horses who were in the area.  Soon, Oscar was tucked safely on board the chopper and then on his way to the hospital.

This story has a happy ending and it isn’t going to take another two hundred and some pages before you find out what it is (like my novel!).  Two evenings later, Oscar and the owner of the sheep dropped by so that he could get some necessities from the sheep wagon.  He looked a bit tired and pale, but seemed alright.  Or at least, as alright as you can be with mangled ribs and stitches in your hand. He’ll take a while to heal, but all’s well that ends well.

A postscript to the story is this:  the helicopter had some trouble finding the meadow where they needed to land and flew around these mountains at a low altitude for probably thirty minutes before locating the right meadow.  They flew right over the sheep, repeatedly.  Apparently, sheep do NOT like helicopters and they reacted by running in all sorts of directions.  So now, we have a couple new herders in the area who are working very long hours with their horses and dogs trying to gather the sheep together. We’ve had sheep all around us in small bands.  Be assured, Karl’s been doing his part!

Categories: Gypsy life, The Archer's Perspective | 2 Comments

35 years today!

 

 

 

The front of our wedding invitation started out “Today I marry my friend…”  That was thirty-five years ago today.  And yes, I did indeed marry my friend (though he’s much more than that!). In the ensuing years, we have refined that friendship (and the much more!) through many seasons of better and worse, richer and poorer, and sickness and health.  We’ve traveled many physical miles, (we’ve moved to California, back to Wyoming, and then to the Virgin Islands, a total of seven or eight addresses), plus when he was long-haul trucking he did over a million safe miles not to mention all the road trips and journeys we’ve enjoyed together.  Of course, we’ve also traveled more emotional and mental miles than that as the earth has hurled through space around the sun.  We’ve watched our three beautiful children grow into amazing adults and establish lives for themselves – first increasing their number to six as they’ve added spouses and then adding a total of five more ‘newbies’ to our family. We’ve started and ended careers (more than two!).  We put on a lot of hard miles on our bodies and hearts hanging out in hospital waiting rooms and ICU facilities and worrying about money and bills.  We’ve grimaced at grey hair and wrinkles, stiff joints and a few aches and pains, and we’ve laughed through joyous times of graduations and successes, warm skies and fair breezes.

I’m so thankful for these past thirty-five years, and I’m thankful that the passion, devotion, comfort and security of our marriage and our friendship has grown the way it has.  It hasn’t always been easy, but no refining process is. But what we have today is worth every moment of the past 12,783 days.  Happy anniversary, Karl!  I can’t wait to see what God has for us in the next 35!

Categories: Random thoughts on being me | Leave a comment

Fighting My Phone Addiction

 

When I was growing up, anytime the phone on the wall rang, everyone would scramble to answer it. Being the youngest of three, I didn’t often get calls, but even so I ran to try to get it first.   It didn’t matter if we were eating dinner, or watching TV or in the middle of a discussion, everything took a back seat to the trumpet call of our black rotary phone.  It taught us well.  It taught an entire civilization well, it seems.

Fast forward 50+ years.  Few homes are now equipped with phones or have one hanging on the wall. Rotary dials are only seen in the museum or on Antique Road Show segments on PBS.  But, we’ve stayed true to our roots, and the phone, now tiny, digital and living in our pockets, still reigns supreme.  I read recently (on my phone!) that the average teen spends 6-8 hours every day staring at some sort of screen.  Yikes!  Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy my phone.  I won’t say I love it, I’m constantly aware of how much time it can easily sap from my day, but at the same time, I do enjoy being able to check the weather, the news, spend a few minutes on Facebook to see what my friends are about for the day, and get and answer emails.  Sometimes I even get or make a voice call with it. The trouble is, I mostly think that I’m using my phone in controlled moderation, when in reality it’s the entity in control, not me.  Just like our black rotary, when my phone rings, I drop everything to answer it. It doesn’t stop there.  It doesn’t have to ring – just ding, or chime, or vibrate or some other catchy sound to indicate that something new has arrived, and I feel a need to look and see. (And even if it doesn’t make any noise for a while, I still feel the pull to just check…)  Often, the chime is a notification that someone I hardly know has posted something I truly don’t have any interest in.  It doesn’t matter.  Once I have my phone in my hand, well, I guess it won’t hurt to check email, weather, news, play a game, look at Pinterest, and peruse any other site I have connections with. Before I know it, I’ve spent an irrational amount of time focused on updates that are truly inconsequential at the expense of time better spent.  I can’t even count the number of times Karl and I have been chatting, my phone chirps, and I ignore or only half listen to him in favor of some Facebook post about someone’s hamster. I really hate that. I’m better than that.  Karl is much more important than that.

So, I am trying to reject and reprogram that behavior in myself. Right now, I am doing it ‘cold turkey’.  The reason this “Monday” blog is being posted later in the week Is because we’ve been camping in a spot that has absolutely no service.  Nothing.  Glorious.  My phone has been off and ignored now for nearly a week.  I feel so free! Instead of attending to my phone, I’ve been finding music in the wind in the trees, actually listening to my husband, watching squirrels and deer and hummingbirds.  Thinking my own thoughts. My time is my own.  I like it this way.

My goal will be to maintain my distance and retain my self-control when I’m back within a service area… I’ll keep you posted…:)

 

 

 

Categories: Gypsy life, Random thoughts on being me | Leave a comment

Ponder This – by Karl Coulson

NOTE:  For today’s blog, we have a guest writer, my husband Karl.  Thanks Honey!

There are some things that I do which make me shake my head and wonder, why? As ya’ll know, donna kay and I are spending the summer in our fifth wheel – sometimes camping in the mountains, sometimes in Encampment parked at a friend’s house and sometimes in Cheyenne parked at Windy Acres, my cousin’s place out on Horse Creek Road.

Recently we were in Cheyenne for Frontier Days. We had a great time thanks to really good tickets, procured by our friend Liz, to the rodeo and two night shows. On Sunday morning we went to church at our home church Golden Prairie Baptist out north of Burns. We love that church, and they love us. Pastor Jeff always has some great insights and some much needed encouragement. Usually donna kay and I talk about his sermons all the way back to town. This week we talked about something else.

After the sermon we’re “deployed”, Pastor Jeff’s word sending us out to show God’s grace and love to others. Then after the service we were standing around talking to friends when Jeff started a conversation with me. Eventually he got around to asking me how we were getting along living in the trailer and asked how we were sleeping. I assured him it is very comfortable and that we sleep well most nights. He asked this with a big smile on his face. Now, Jeff is almost always smiling so at first I thought nothing of his question other than concern for us. By the time I got to the truck in the parking area I knew better. I just got busted. I was sleeping during his sermon. Shameful, but it happens.

It’s not that what he was saying was boring, it never is. It’s not that I’ve heard it all before, because I haven’t. I slept well the night before and I wasn’t sleepy on the 40 minute drive to church. But try as hard as I could, sleep overtook me. (Good thing I don’t snore.) I felt donna kay nudge me several times. I would wake up for a couple of minutes then breathe heavily and go back to checking my eye lids for leaks.

It’s not the tenor of Jeff’s voice or his lack of emotion. It’s not his volume because this is not the only sermon I have missed most of. Pastor John at our church on St. Croix is loud. Really loud! To the point of vibrating the windows at times, loud. Even with the A.C. running he can heat up the room with his passion and with his emotion. But I can sleep during his sermons as well. (Sorry John.)

I’m not the only one. Let’s be honest now, I’ve looked around and noticed others in both congregations sleeping sometimes. I’m sure none of us mean to, it just happens. With me it usually starts when I look down to refresh my thoughts on the Bible passage being addressed. I re-read the passage, and to make sure I have it in context, I read several verses before and after the passage referred to. While contemplating the meaning, my sight blurs, I blink my eyes to clear them and there I go, I’m done.

Several years ago donna kay and I took a class by Kim Bevel titled “Gray Matter”. In this class we learned that a person can only concentrate on someone speaking 10 to 17 minutes before their mind withdraws. In order to refocus a person needs to become active, move around, stand up, sing. This could be part of the problem. The other part of the problem I learned doing yoga. Yes, this tough as nails former truck driver has done some yoga. This last winter donna kay and I did some “stretching” and “relaxing” yoga just before bed each night for a couple weeks. Man did we sleep good. In the relaxing yoga it was a lot of deep breathing and stretching out the chest. Before the sermon each Sunday we sing. I sing, as King David did, with all my might, from my gut, breathing deep singing loud. We’ve stretched, breathed deeply then sat down and relaxed to listen to really important information. Do ya see it coming? That’s right, after 10 minutes I’m done. This is not every Sunday, just sometimes.

I am not suggesting that church services be rearranged. I’m not saying we need to do the sermon first and the singing and greeting of friends later. I’m just giving a plausible reason for my shameful actions. I berate myself at the time and again later and feel guilty.

But I have another thought. During the service I have greeted all my friends, at both churches. I have sung with all my might praising God for his love, faithfulness and grace. I’ve prayed thanking God for all my blessings and His salvation. Perhaps at this point God touches me, giving me complete relaxation, telling my soul to rest in His arms. Perhaps God is telling my soul, “Rest, I’ve got this”. Maybe He’s say’n “you’ve been keyed up all week worry’n about all those things that stress you out, just rest”.

So, with this in mind, I’ve decided that I’ll continue to try to stay focused, but when I don’t, I’m going to be thankful for God’s rest and not feel guilty.

Categories: Banishing the word should!, Gypsy life | 2 Comments

People Watching

 

People watching is a popular and usually fun pastime. It’s a habit I partake in and often enjoy.  Walking through the mall, waiting in an airport, relaxing in a park.  People are such varied and sundry creatures. It’s fun to notice the choices people make with their appearance and demeanor. I smile watching two people enjoying each other’s company (within reason!), I love seeing children sleeping without care in horrible positions in strollers or, better yet, on a parent’s shoulder, totally oblivious to the noise and commotion around them. (I envy their ability to sleep so peacefully in the hub-bub.) I chuckle warmly at the fashion choices of little old men in plaid paints and striped shirts or those of carefree little girls dressed in rain boots and tutus. (And I often wish I weren’t so constrained by society’s norms so that I could wear a pink feather boa sometimes!)  I especially love airports, watching loved ones reunited.  Hugs and tears and smiles speak so loudly of how precious each is to the other.

But…people watching is also a dangerous game. The danger of course, is being judgmental and critical.  We don’t stop at just noticing, we pass judgement – and not just on the look but on the inner person as well. “That girl is too heavy for that outfit, doesn’t she understand diets?…He’s a terrible father to talk to those kids like that…Doesn’t she know that she’s wearing too much makeup?…He must be lazy since he’s so unkempt…that man is wearing a MAGA hat, let’s harass him!”  It’s so easy to compare and be condemnatory. I hate to admit that I partake in this negative side, too, sometimes. While I have a small tattoo, I don’t admire necks or entire arms that are inked.  I have three holes in my ears, but ears with those big hollow rings in them don’t attract me.  We laugh at websites that show non-conforming customers at Wal-Mar- there are entire websites showcases these individuals. I truly try not to engage in this kind of people watching.  Not because there aren’t shocking or worrisome people in public, but because I know in my depths that looking at others from a pedestal of my own making is treacherous territory.

People watching with the goal of celebrating the infinite variety of folks is fun, any other motive is hurtful, to me and to others whether they are ever aware of it or not.  How do I rein myself in and curtail my tendency for mean spirited people watching?  I try to watch myself from other’s perspective:  I’m certain that the fact that I DO have a tattoo is cause for judgment from some, or that I DO have my ears pierced several times, or that I DO wear jeans and t-shirts when the fashion police have decreed that women over 55 shouldn’t wear jeans (What? You’d rather I wear polyester pants with elastic waists pulled up a little too high?  Brrr, just the thought makes me shiver. Euww!) I’m not saying that I make decisions based on what the current fashion trends are, and I certainly don’t feel like I need to curtail my First Amendment rights to be me through the expression of my clothes. Tangent:  I’ve never been too subject to that…When they were in high school my children were a little chagrined (to say the least) that I often wore dresses with colored or patterned ankle socks and tennies. More than once one of them commented to me , “Mom, you are a fashion statement, and that statement is, ‘I am a dork!’”)  Anyway, what I am saying is that as a follower of Jesus, I do have a responsibility to represent myself and my God well when I’m in public.

So, carefully, I’m going to keep people watching, continuing to celebrate that God made us all so differently.  Maybe I’ll also whisper a prayer when someone walks by who displays something worrisome (Like the pretty young woman at the Frontier Days concert this week weaving as she walked while she held a can of Coors Lite in each hand.) But more than that, I’m going to watch myself to make sure that I’m being someone worth watching.

Categories: Random thoughts on being me | 2 Comments

Flying

The Bible says that if we come to God with faith He will give us the desires of our heart.  I believe that.  However, I’m also fairly sure that God is going to make me wait to realize one of the fondest desires of my heart.  Maybe it’s only because I don’t have enough faith to see it happening in this life, but I think I’ll probably have to be patient until I get to heaven.  That’s because my desire is this:  I want to fly. Not inside a big metal tube with staff to serve me overpriced snacks, but with my own, tireless wings.  The other day, I watched an eagle soaring, playing with the wind currents above Silver Lake, and I once again thought how marvelous it would be to ride the air, soaring effortlessly above the world.  That would, in fact, be amazing.  I thought about that eagle all day, gliding in my imagination in a silent, noble dance above the lake and mountains that I love.  I imagined how it would be to feel the air support my wings and what I could think as I enjoyed that different perspective.  At the end of the day my thoughts were still in the clouds and I decided that maybe, after a while, flying eagle-like would become lonely and maybe even a little boring.  Solitude and beauty are rich gifts, that’s true, but my heart seems to have some trouble absorbing too much beauty and too much solitude at a time.

No, flying like an eagle is not my heart’s desire.  What I really want is to play with the hummingbirds.  I’d love to hear the whir of my own wings as I dart in and out of the trees, smelling and tasting the flowers. I’m sure the yellow daisies are tangy, the bright red Indian paintbrushes must be sweet, and the blueish bells in the meadow?  Maybe they have a savory richness that would make them my favorite.  If I could fly, I think I’d be so excited I’d rarely sit still.  Instead, I’d play tag with that little red-throated guy who is zooming around the hummingbird feeder next to my camper. (I put it up after we set up camp in the Sierra Madre Mountains this week, and within minutes the party began.) I sit and watch enviously as the four or five little creatures, so fairy-like and cheery, loop and dart, skyrocketing around limbs and branches in a game of chase that my eyes can’t quite follow.  They argue and cheer each other as they race to see who can defend the feeder most strenuously.  Sometimes, to my human thinking, it looks like the reddish brown one is being mean, not allowing the others to spend much time drinking the sweetness from the feeder, but as I pretend that I’m one of them, I become sure that his twittering voice holds the deepest and most pure of the laughter among them. They play hard and with abandon. There’s no trace of remorse for the undone laundry or hint of worry at an unpaid bill.  Nope.  There is only elation and delight in the game and calm when one of them does stop for a moment’s rest on a shimmering aspen limb or to drink from the bright red feeder.  I sit, ground-bound in this body, wistful for wings that would take me on loops around the pines and allow me to join the fray. I consider how lucky my little hummingbird pals are as they cavort, understanding one thing only – the joy of Creation around them.

Then it occurs to me.  I also understand the joy of creation. And maybe, I have a bit wider view of it than my tiny joyful companions.  I’ve snorkeled and seen what delights populate the coral reefs, I’ve walked in the desert and watched sunrises and shooting stars that maybe my fast, feathered friends haven’t had a chance to notice.  They understand the depth and breadth of their corner of creation, I can see a little larger view.  God created them, but He didn’t die for them.  He made them delightful, but He doesn’t delight in them as deeply as He does in me. They have joy in their wings and games, while I have the joy of knowing how much the Creator sacrificed in order to provide me the hope that someday, when I get Home, I can have wings.

 

Do you have any idea how hard it is to take a picture of a hummingbird?

Categories: Gypsy life | Leave a comment

“This is how you’re supposed to do church”

 

Last year we had the opportunity to celebrate our island church’s, Frederiksted Baptist’s, 50th anniversary celebration.  While we’d only been part of the congregation for a little while, we were impressed at how much impact a small church, started by one man with vision and obedience, could have on our St. Croix community.

This past Sunday, we got to celebrate another anniversary with our other home church.  Golden Prairie Baptist Church near Burns, Wyoming is a hundred years old this month!  Golden Prairie is a small church building (accompanied by a parsonage and a row of tall trees that serve as a wind break) that sits quite literally alone out in the middle of the prairie.  In the spring, the surrounding grass is alive with yellow prairie flowers and I’ve heard that’s where the name came from. Right now, a sea of golden wheat fields surround the church.

Golden Prairie’s celebration was wonderful.  It included a terrific two-hour service (with intermission!) and then a great lunch.  I have lots of favorite moments from the day.  *Listening to Charlotte, Dave and Crystal, who Karl and I used to partner with to lead worship, led the congregation in singing In Christ Alone, (which always makes me cry) and other favorites. *Clapping and singing along as the praise band jammed through Amazing Grace and Lord I Lift Your Name on High and many others with the help of Justin on the harmonica. *Listening again to Betty sing a solo. *Having three of my favorite pastors of all my life in the same room. *Getting to listen to just one more sermon from Jim Brown. *Hugging and visiting with friends that feel like family that we hadn’t seen in a while. I could go on and on.

A man named Rick Bishop who pastors a small church in Glenrock, Wyoming, spoke briefly. I’d never met Rick before, but he grew up at Golden Prairie. He reminisced about how God used Golden Prairie Church to get his attention, and how the lessons he learned about God and life and people at the church have sustained him and led him and taken him many places. One thing he said continues to reverberate in my head. This is it: “The extraordinary things this church does are just ordinary things that become extraordinary.”  As he said this I looked around.  Children fidgeting, babies sleeping, familiar faces, faces I didn’t know, short hair, long hair, grey hair, bald heads, tattoos, and handlebar mustaches.  There were flip flops and dress shoes and lots of cowboy and work boots, some dusty from feeding sheep or doing chores before leaving the ranch. Ordinary people with ordinary lives.  An ordinary church celebrating an extraordinary anniversary. Everyone there because an extraordinary God sent His Son to live an extraordinary life among ordinary people.

So – I’m at home at Golden Prairie while at the same time I am missing my FBC home and family. Yet, I’m so thankful for the perspective I have as a member of these two pretty commonplace churches filled with just regular people.  They are so different – in latitude and altitude, music and clothing, climate, employment, color and culture. Even so, they are more alike.  What makes this true?  Well, both congregations allow themselves to be used by an astonishing Creator to accomplish important things.  This is the mystery and the joy of following Jesus.  How people so different can be brothers and sisters, one body.  Rick Bishop made one other statement that sums it up:  “This is the way you’re supposed to do church.” Amen!

Categories: Frederiksted Baptist Church | 2 Comments

My birthday card to America

 

Dear America,

Happy 242nd Birthday! I am praying that you have a beautiful day of celebrating and smiles, counting our blessings and hugging our neighbors and friends, hot dogs and fireworks.  I know things are difficult for you right now, your people are not in a good place, but take heart.  Things have been difficult before, and you’ve always eventually triumphed. Lots of people are praying and hoping and working for that to happen again.

I know you remember the hard times.  I know you cringe to recall the day that Senator Preston Brooks beat Senator Charles Sumner with a cane on the floor of the US Senate because Sumner made an abolitionist speech.  Some people called that event “the breakdown of reasonable discourse” and consider it one of the stepping stones to our Civil War.

I know, America, that once again reasonable discourse is in peril.  Instead of respecting another’s choices, beliefs and dignity, we go out of our way to sue and protest and work to close down businesses of people who want to live according to their own moral compasses, instead of just finding a different business to employ. Instead of debating like adults, we call names, we say, “well what I do is okay because HE started it”, we think that political problems are going to be solved by embarrassing individuals outside of work hours and hounding them out of restaurants and theaters instead of showing human respect then listening and speaking with civility and being willing to compromise and work together.  We listen to biased reports and sanctify comedians who threaten public figures and their children and call it a joke or hold up replicas of severed heads and then claim to be victims when they aren’t appreciated. Somehow, we’ve evolved into a society that thinks everyone deserves a trophy and vilifies anyone who actually works for the prize. We’ve divided our society with marches and hateful aggression by claiming that some lives matter more than others or that people who break the law are somehow more important and deserve more consideration than those that abide by the rules.

It’s enough to make you cry, isn’t it, America?    On this, your birthday and any other recent days, it is easy to feel discouraged and bleak, but just for today, I hope you can block out the noise of unreasonable and uncivil discourse and recall the good. Just for today, remind me, America, to concentrate on the way that the strangers at a little church in my new town became friends with willing hugs that didn’t care about the color of my skin. Don’t let me forget that so many people willingly put themselves in harm’s way on our city streets and in foreign places every day to fight for the safety and rights of people they don’t know. Instead of the trendy and popular hate I see on TV and social media, help me to see the kindness of people who stop to help change a tire or support a friend even though that person voted differently in the last election.  Clear a path for me, America, so that I can remember how beautiful you are and how blessed and lucky we are to be here.  And then, tomorrow, the day after your birthday, help me to do my part to restore reasonable and productive discourse in my country.

Categories: America and American History | 1 Comment

Age Spots and Ecclesiastes

Hilarious or an addition of insult to injury? I’m not sure, but I’m glad this age spot (which looks like an old woman) is on my leg and not the one on my face!

Maybe you noticed that I didn’t blog last week.  Hmm.  Here’s why: sometimes I come to the humbling notion that I have nothing of value to say.  Often that concept is accompanied by a long look in the mirror in horror at the grey in my hair, the pruney wrinkles around my mouth, and that darned age spot on my left cheek.  What starts as brushing my teeth and combing my hair some mornings becomes a full blown indictment that I’m aging and on my way out and irrelevant. There are other catalysts to my occasional bouts of no-confidence: a slight from someone I care about, reading the news, being tired.  Whatever the reason, sometimes the voice inside me turns from normal excitement about life to questioning my own worth.

Okay – change the subject, sort of.  I don’t think that I’ve never read the book of Ecclesiastes before in its entirety.  Sure, I know the words to “Turn, Turn, Turn” but that’s probably it. In the past few weeks as part of my devotions, I have been reading one chapter a day from this not so popular book of the Bible. I’ve thought most of the time it was pretty depressing, with all the ‘meaningless, meaningless, everything is meaningless’ theme.  Maybe that’s added to my overall funk and feeling I myself am somewhat passé and beyond my expiration date.

But today. Today I heard something different.  Today I read chapter 11. Let’s see, what made it resonate with me?  It all started with verse 6.  “Sow your seed in the morning, and at evening let not your hands be idle, for you do not know which will succeed, whether this or that, or whether both will do equally well.”  At first, I blew through that verse and continued. (Don’t I often crochet or do some little hand craft project while I watch TV at night?) It wasn’t until I got to verse 10 that a light dawned… “So then, banish anxiety from your heart and cast off the troubles of your body for youth and vigor are meaningless.”

What?  Oh, now I see! Verse 6 can be read literally or it can be taken as a metaphor. (Maybe my master’s in English has some worth. 😊) We are told to do our work in the morning, and then find something else to do in the evening with the hope that at least one of those efforts will do well.  I did that!  I’m doing that!  I’ve been a mom and a teacher and I worked hard at both.  Now that its evening, my kids are gone and I’m retired but I feel this irresistible urge to write. Hey, who knows which endeavor will be the most successful?  Verse ten reassures me that youth, and smooth skin, and a hip that doesn’t ache are not requisites for being productive and useful.  Both are, in fact, meaningless when you look at the job and its outcome instead of the collagen in the skin of the doer.   Yay!  Hope! Encouragement!

Categories: Random thoughts on being me | 1 Comment

Legacy or lunacy?

My sister Nancy gave this to me, filled with carnations, when she got married. I was about ten and it was the first time anyone gave me flowers.

I’ve always, always been conscious of legacy.  I don’t hail from a family with riches and trust funds, no. I never expected a financial inheritance.  My storyteller heart has always claimed its birthright in the tales of my ancestors and of the people who have entered my life and changed me. I’ve collected stories like doubloons and kept them safe and secure. Often, there’s a trinket or physical object that goes along with the story, and those random objects remain important artifacts of my life.  I’m certainly not a hoarder, and in recent years I have been willing to part with some of those ‘trinket-memories’, but if you look at my shelves without having the backstory on the stuff, you might wonder if there’s not a tendency towards unhealthy collecting.

For example: my office bookshelves house books along with dozens of turtles.  Ceramic, crystal, wood, stone, wax, hand carved, realistic, artful, plain, colorful, old, or off the Hallmark store shelf. (I culled many out recently and threw a bunch away, but a substantial herd remains.) Every one has a story.  This one was a gift from a first grader named Jessie, that one from a naughty fifth grader. This one that looks like a troll came from Santa Claus when I was very young. Beside turtles I have a collection of little boxes.  This  glazed pottery one that says “Someone like you comes along…once in a blue moon” was a gift from my friend Lynn.

In our junior year, we had a habit of skipping school on Fridays – we were both straight A students and had we had our mothers’ permission. In fact, often one mom or the other joined us on shopping trips or while hanging out baking cookies.  Oh yeah – I also have a little candle held by a cast iron bear that I bought one Friday on an excursion to Greeley shopping with Lynn and my mom…

I could go on for days about the cache of precious memories that my dusty gewgaws contain. I get so much joy from them and the stories they keep alive. They are my memories, my legacy.  However, unlike trust funds or mansions or a stock portfolio, this accumulation of what I consider the wealth of my life probably won’t be embraced as precious gifts by those who remain when I’m gone.  When I die, chances are they will mostly go in the garbage or to the thrift store, their intense value unrecognized.  And, that’s okay. I remember shaking my head and wondering at the contents of my dad’s dresser drawers after he died.  My children and grandchildren are building their own cadre of treasures that make up the wealth of their lives.  I’ve already taken steps to safeguard the things I count as really important things by making sure those who remain know the stories behind them. I’ve incorporated my favorite memories in a family story book I wrote and in the pages of my novels and blogs.

For my daily devotions, I started last week reading Ecclesiastes in the Old Testament.  I’m sure that these ramblings in today’s blog are a result of Solomon’s claim that everything is meaningless and nothing but God’s love lasts. I see the wisdom in his assertion and I don’t disagree.  The mockingjay pin that lives on the lampshade on my desk (given to me by a fifth grader named Bayley) doesn’t matter to eternity. Yet, I’m healthy and I’m not planning on leaving this world any time soon, so I’m going to close this blog now and do some cleaning.  You know, to everything there is a season…a time to write and a time to dust!

 

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