Lizard Lessons

Posted on March 19, 2018 by Donna Coulson

One of the things I’ve learned about since I first came to the Caribbean is lizards.  At first, I was enamored with the large iguanas.  They are so prehistoric, Godzilla-like.  I liked them at first, mostly because of their novelty. But then the novelty wore off and I learned how destructive they are – in the Spring, they dig deep, deep holes.  Sometimes these caves are seven or eight feet in length, and at the end of them, is a clutch of sixty or more eggs, ready to spew forth a whole new company of neon green babies to contend with.  Not my friends since I live on the side of a hill. Karl and I enjoy harassing the iguanas now, and do so whenever we see one.

There are two other kinds of lizards I live with, though, and both of these I think are really cool.  We have geckos and anoles.  The geckos are shy. (Well, not really, they are nocturnal, and I’m not!)  I don’t see them often, but when I do they make me laugh with their woggly gait and big, bulbous toes.  My favorite, though, are anoles.  These little guys live, mostly, on our patio and around the outside of our house.  They are diurnal (new word for me…means active in the day – that’s me!), so we spend a lot of time together.  I appreciate them because they eat bugs and also because they are just fun to watch. I will admit that I am projecting human traits on all three of our lizard companions as we coexist, but I’ve come to believe that there are several lessons that I can learn from them.

  1. Keep quiet.  I read in Wikipedia that some lizards make a noise, but I’ve never knowingly heard it.  As far as my experience goes, lizards are silent.  How many times would it have been better for me to keep my mouth shut?
  2. Keep your eyes open. Interestingly, geckos don’t have eyelids, but even though iguanas and anoles do, all three are very conscious of their surroundings. It’s nearly impossible to sneak up on a lizard, you can’t get very close before they take evasive action.  So often, I am clueless simply because I don’t pay close attention.
  3. Don’t hold on too tightly. When it gets into a tight or dangerous situation, an anole can drop its tail off.  Left behind, wiggling all on its own, the tail serves as a wonderful distraction while the little guy gets away.  How many times do I stubbornly hold on to an unproductive thought or worry when I’d be better off jettisoning it?
  4. Have a thick skin. Iguanas have tough hide. Getting my feeling hurt is often a choice I make.
  5. Know your limits. From my perspective, anoles are fearless. They climb to the top of our house, they perch upside down above my head on the ceiling, they jump farther than they should be able to. They do all this without any outward show of hesitation or second guessing.  How do they do it?  They try.  They just do.  How many times do I limit myself and what I can accomplish because I doubt?  I doubt God’s provision, I doubt my own abilities.  I don’t see something as possible and therefore it isn’t.
  6. Live for today. Lizards do not prepare for winter, they don’t store food. An ant strolls by, and an anole runs over and eats it.  In the evening, anoles hang out by our porch light and gobble up little moths and mosquitos.  They live in the moment, munching as they go, chasing each other over the patio furniture (and me if I happen to be sitting in the way!). They are footloose and fancy free.  I like that.

 

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Can You See It?

Posted on March 5, 2018 by Donna Coulson

Sometimes on clear days we can see Puerto Rico from our house.  There’s about a ninety mile stretch of open water between us and them, and if the clouds are somewhere else and the humidity is low, we can see the coastal outline on the horizon.  It’s one of those cool things that happen – like glimpsing a shooting star or enjoying the rare appearance of a deer in our yard – a gift of sorts.

 

Saturday, we could see it – and it was so close!  Now in my rational brain, I know that the two islands do not move and that we are always the same distance apart, but that isn’t what my eyes took in.  On Saturday, Puerto Rico’s coastline was much nearer to us than usual.  Defined, distinct, sharp.

Puerto Rico from our house

So I’m thinking: Is a comparison of feeling God’s presence and the vision of Puerto Rico valid?  Whether I can see my far-away neighboring island or not depends on several circumstances. Some I have no control over: clouds, humidity, light, weather.  Some I do have control over: I have to go outside and look.  Is it the same for seeing and feeling God’s presence?  Definitely I do have some control over that: I need to be open to His call and listening for His presence.  But I wonder? Is it all up to me? During those times when God doesn’t feel close and I can’t see Him at all, is it because of me or is it because of circumstances outside of me?

 

I know I’m not the only one who asks this question. Psalms is full of chapters seeking God and not feeling His nearness. Since the hurricanes, things have not been easy and I’ve wondered what I’m doing wrong.  I’ve spent a lot of time in prayer and study, but there continues to be an aloneness in my soul that I can’t seem to banish.  It’s not that I doubt God – I don’t.  But I’ve spent a lot of time doubting myself. I’m standing outside, facing west, why can’t I see Him?

 

Before you start to worry, please know that I’m okay – because here’s where hope rescues me.  Even on days when clouds are in the way or nights when darkness cuts off any chance of a good view, I don’t feel totally isolated because I know that, just like Puerto Rico, God is there whether I see Him or not.  I am standing on Bible passages  (like Habakkuk 3: 16-19, Psalm 91:14-16, Matthew 8:23-27) written by people much wiser than I, knowing that this, too shall pass.

Categories: Living on St Croix | 4 Comments

Too Many to Count

Posted on February 26, 2018 by Donna Coulson

I’m counting my blessings, so I really don’t have time to blog today.  There are so many of them. Amidst a continuing parade of wrinkles and hurdles, this week has reminded me how loved I am both from heaven and from earth.  Last week, our dear friend Greg and his son Cade came to our island and home for the express purpose of helping Karl put a new corrugated skin on our horribly steep and treacherous roof.  Instead of enjoying paradise, they worked all week on ladders, getting sore muscles and sunburns as they drove screws and put up metal.  Cade returned home, and then Greg’s wife Liz arrived. For the most part, the work stopped (though the men are on the roof this morning), and the joy of friendship has reigned.

Cade and Greg, just beginning our roof project.

Karl and Greg – all smiles and screw drivers

I just can’t stay discouraged or stressed when dear friends sacrifice their time and daily lives to come spend time with us.  We’ve had lots of fun: taking distillery tours, snorkeling, a terrific evening sailing on the historic Roseway, listening to music at jazz in the park and at a local hamburger joint, sitting on the gallery talking and laughing.   There are not many better days than those filled with cherishing and being cherished by people who love you and you love right back.

We four have been friends for so many years.

On that same note, I just can’t stay discouraged or stressed when the God of the universe sacrifices Himself for me and spends time with me.  How do I know He is here?  Well, these weeks I know because I see him in Cade, and Liz and Greg’s eyes. I feel Him in their love and loyalty. I’m touched by God with how they encourage us.  I heard Him in a sermon yesterday morning reminding me of His safety.  I witness Him in the power of the sea and the wind in the sails of a sail boat.  I see Him in the stunning rainbows He has provided us all each morning.

Not a typical rainbow – instead a sort of dot or smear of color just on the horizon

It’s been a reminder and lesson beyond precious this week.  To be loved for no other reason than just who I am – it doesn’t get any better than this.

This wasn’t a typical rainbow, either. This one was a straight line of vibrant color just above the sea.

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Finding Glory

Posted on February 19, 2018 by Donna Coulson

One of the gifts that God gave me is my imagination.  I’ve shared before that I had imaginary friends as a child, and I’ve always written stories in my head.  Often, I’ve imagined heaven as a place where creation is perfect and unfallen (which I am pretty sure I can’t adequately imagine!) and I’ve visualized what it would be like to be able to take in that perfect creation.  Am I going to be able to swim with dolphins and sea turtles? Do you think, God, that maybe I could be allowed to fly and soar with the hawks?  These are often the results of my musings.

I’ve also shared before that one of my most favorite spots on earth is at the top of Bridger Peak in the Sierra Madre Mountains in southern Wyoming.  At elevation 11,003 feet, it’s the tallest thing in view, and I can easily sit there and cry at the beauty and majesty around me.  Usually when we are exploring at Bridger, our next destination is Haggarty Creek, a relatively small but fast running creek that somehow holds all kinds of magic and serenity for me.  All I need to do when I’m stressed is picture sitting on top or Bridger Peak or on a rock amidst the moss on the bank of the Haggarty, and my soul is refreshed.

 

It will now seem like I’m changing subjects, but I’m not:  Last week my ‘bonus daughter’ Amanda sent me a copy of a sermon by C.S. Lewis entitled “The Weight of Glory”. She sent it as part of a continuing conversation I’ve had with my son Sam and several others, including Amanda, responding to my blog of January 29th.  Lewis talks about works and grace and glory and living here on earth with an eye on eternity. Many points he makes really resonated with me, but one point stands out right now.  Lewis says that “most of things we call beautiful are inanimate, [and] it is not very surprising that they take no notice of us.” Then he talks about glory, and says that as Children of God we aren’t satisfied with just viewing this inanimate beauty, but instead “We do not want merely to see beauty, though…we want something else which can hardly be put into words-to be united with the beauty we see, to pass into it, to receive it into ourselves, to bathe in it, to become part of it.”

I wish I’d have said that!  It is exactly how I feel when tears roll down my cheeks on Bridger, or I long to dance with the water droplets at Haggarty Creek.  It’s why, I suppose, that I once felt the need to fly a kite off Bridger Peak, and why I can’t keep my feet out of the creek even though the water is so icy cold. I don’t want to just stare out at the vista, I want to soar in it, drink it, be it.  Lewis goes on to suggest “When human souls have become as perfect in voluntary obedience as the inanimate creation is in its lifeless obedience, then they will put on its glory, or rather that greater glory of which Nature is only the first sketch.”  When we do gain eternity we will “drink joy from the fountain of joy”.  He finishes by claiming what his sermon began with, and that is that our job, as saved recipients of God’s grace, is to love with a “real and costly love” to our neighbors.

 

I love the simplicity and total complexity of that.  We are surrounded here with beauty if we take time to see it.  The intricacy of a spider’s web, the pudgy knuckles of a baby’s tiny hand, the magic of a rainbow or the sunrise, eye contact with a deer on the prairie, a dusty beam of light peeking through a slightly gaping curtain, the sheer power of a hurricane, the fragility of a robin’s egg.  It’s what we have on this fallen earth to cherish and nurture and to herald what is promised.

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Martha or Mary?

Posted on February 12, 2018 by Donna Coulson

 

I have a love-hate relationship with the story of Martha and Mary in Luke 10.  I love Jesus’ sense of humor and his patience as he speaks to Martha.  I can picture her, red faced, hair a mess, apron dirty, ticked off. I can see Mary, nails perfect, clean outfit, totally relaxed sitting near Jesus listening to His teaching.  I understand, even (I think!), the point Jesus is making when he tells Martha that “you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed.”

Yes, I get that spending time learning and listening to my Savior is the highest priority.  I understand that I need to rest in His provision.  I need to wait on the Lord.

BUT.  If both Martha and Mary had spent the day at Jesus’ feet, there’d have been a lot of hungry people in that house, dishes would have cluttered the counters, the laundry would have been oozing out of the hamper and down the hallway, the bathroom would have been smelly.  What then? Someone needed to wait on the Lord! (See, that word is perfect because it has two very different meanings!)

When I get to heaven, (because I highly doubt that I am ever going to truly understand it until then!), I look forward to sitting down with Jesus and having Him explain this to me – with small words so that I can really understand. I relate and appreciate Martha so much more than I do Mary. Martha and I are kindred spirits.  It’s not that I don’t want to obey my Lord and Creator when He tells me something.  I do. I do spend time listening – reading His word, in prayer….  I just can’t quite grasp how to balance the trusting and waiting on the Lord – the sitting at His feet – with performing the jobs I need to do to navigate my life and each individual day.

Since the hurricanes, I’ve wrestled with the whole Martha/Mary feud a lot. So much has been out of my hands and in His.  I’ve told myself that I need to just wait.  Just ‘let go and let God’.  Okay.  So I did that for four weeks waiting on FEMA/SBA to conclude some paperwork.  Then the Martha in me reared up and I started making phone calls.  What I found out was that our file had slipped through some crack and had I not rattled the right cages with my calls, we’d still be waiting, not on the Lord but on someone to get to the bottom of their in box and realize they needed to do something. Hmmm.  Martha rules!

I guess for now the lessons I’m learning revolve around compromise. I’ll recognize that salvation is a gift and that a clean house or folded laundry or a blog each Monday don’t qualify me for eternity.  For that I can patiently wait for God’s grace and rest in His mercy.  But, like Martha, I’m going to look around and recognize that I have work to do as well, and I’m going to get it done.

Categories: Random thoughts on being me | 2 Comments

February! Yay!

Posted on February 5, 2018 by Donna Coulson

This is not THE groundhog, it is a vole, his Wyoming cousin. I met this guy last summer on Bridger Peak.

 

It’s February!  Five months since two cat 5 hurricanes blew through.  Five months filled with stress and worry about recovery and repair, rebuilding and revising our plans.  Five months of tired, haggard faces around us, navigating downed trees, pot holes, and lines.  Five months that included generator noise and darkness, terrible cell service and nearly non-existent internet.

But now it is February!  Yay!  I love February.  For most people, February is the month of love, hearts, flowers, chocolate.  I like all those things, too, but Valentine’s Day isn’t the most important holiday in this month.   No, not even George Washington’s birthday is the most important holiday (though since GW is one of my history heroes, I do wish him well). I hope you didn’t miss the most important day of February.  It came on Friday last week.

I love Groundhog’s Day.  I loved it as a child, I loved it as a teacher – making paper groundhogs with my students (I did it a few times even with ninth graders – they patiently put up with my silliness and enjoyed it without admitting it). I love it still.  Why?  Well, first off the day gives us hope.  Whether the little guy sees his shadow or not, February second is devoted to giving us hope that winter will come to an end. Next, I get to watch one of my favorite movies.  It’s a tradition with Karl and me that started maybe ten years ago- we watch Bill Murry’s movie.  It’s witty and thought provoking and goes good with popcorn and snuggling on the couch.  Third and most important: I love Groundhog’s Day because it is fun and makes me laugh, and after the winter we’ve had, we all need to laugh.

To me, because of the little marmot meteorologist, the month of February comes in with the promise of more sunshine, longer days, warmer water to snorkel in, and it prompts laughter.  Somehow, starting the month with a calendar day devoted to a rodent predicting the weather gives me permission to lighten up.  None of the things I was worrying about on February 1st have been resolved, but since the second, I feel a little more gleeful.  I can see things with a shade of humor and that changes the day.  Laughter is God-given. The ability to laugh helps ease the burden and renews perspective.  Even in the middle of difficult times, a tiny chuckle can make all the difference.    So, today I praise God for the groundhog!

This isn’t a groundhog either – it’s another distant relative- a chipmunk, but I’m pretty proud of the picture anyway!

Categories: Random thoughts on being me | 2 Comments

We are known by our fruit

Posted on January 29, 2018 by Donna Coulson

 

I recently had a conversation with someone close to me who claimed that the Hope of Salvation was simply a “carrot on a stick” used to entice us to live a righteous life.  The rest of that argument was that doing good and making right choices with the promise of eternity in mind was feeble and somehow negated the good that was done. Part of this person’s point was that instead of living a good life because of the reward at the end, a person should choose to be a good person just for the sake of being a good person. The argument continued to a belief that ‘organized religion’ was the root cause of many horrendous atrocities in history and present day (which I agree is a serious and shameful fact), and that ‘organized religion’ should, and the God who is the center should, therefore be left behind.

Now, as a believer, I recognize several parts of that argument as ill-informed and blatantly false.  First, salvation is through grace, not works.  Eternity is offered to us at no cost at all to us because God’s love for us is complete and pure.  I did nothing and can do nothing to earn or deserve salvation other than welcome, accept and praise the Savior. The second issue in this line of thought is why we do ‘good works’ and what we accomplish as a result of them. Yesterday, the sermon at church was given by our youth pastor, Marthious.  He really touched me and spoke to my friend’s claim with this succinct explanation: For unbelievers, the battle with Satan is for their eternal soul.  For believers, already saved by Grace, the battle with Satan is over the impact that believer will have on others.

That’s the part my friend has missed in the story.  Good works are useless effort for gaining salvation. A fallen human can never do enough well enough to earn heaven. Even the act of deciding what is good and what is not is tainted if you don’t have a plumb line to indicate it. But.  Once a person’s salvation is secure – grace is recognized and accepted and God’s definition of good adopted– then the use of good works, of living as a good person, is how God is praised and others are influenced positively.  Back to Marthious’ sermon — one last beautiful thought.  He used a mango tree as an illustration.  Some mangoes are yucky.  Growing on their own, their fruit can be bitter or stringy. They are doing their best, and on the outside the fruit might look great, but inside: not appealing, not yummy. No one wants to taste their fruit.  But. When a skilled gardener comes along and grafts goodness on to that yucky mango tree, from then on the tree produces wonderful fruit – juicy and enticing. From then on, that same tree feeds many with deliciousness.  Accepting the graft God provides us through the sacrifice of Jesus changes us.  The fruit we bear as a result influences those around us.

So now, I hope I get the opportunity to revisit the discussion I’ve recently had. My strength is at the keyboard and with written words, so face-to-face discussions often overwhelm me and my responses aren’t adequate.  But now that I’ve had time to process, I want to share with this person, who I love dearly, that believers aren’t chasing a carrot on a stick in some futile attempt at finding eternity – or even meaning in this life.  No, believers more resemble mangoes grafted by the Master Gardener, nurtured and saved, pruned and watered in the hope that their fruit nourishes another.

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Let’s Save the World…

Posted on January 22, 2018 by Donna Coulson

 

One of my favorite movies of all time is called Armageddon.  It’s a Bruce Willis end-of-the-world flick.  The movie begins with NASA discovering that a global killing asteroid is on a direct path to Earth and they have fewer than 20 days before it will hit. It turns out, the decision makers – government and science experts – decide to send two teams on a space mission to drill into the asteroid’s core, plant nuclear charges, and blow the thing up.  The people they choose to accomplish this are a rag-tag group of oil field drillers. The movie stage is set, then, for conflict between the smart, political know it alls and the greasy handed, blue collar oil drillers. There are lots of reasons I like this movie, but at least part of it is that the heroes of the horror aren’t really hero material. The government decision makers are, for the most part, bureaucrats that are used to sitting in cubicles making team decisions in think tanks insulated by their group approach from having or taking any real personal responsibility.  The drillers, on the other hand, are common, rough, every-day, real. They are used to using their muscles and quick wits to do the one thing they know and understand. They aren’t cocky, they aren’t powerful even in their own eyes. They know one thing, they do their best at it, and they sleep well at night (well, they did at least before the asteroid was threatening all humanity!) As the story unfolds, the approach and expectations of both groups and each individual color the choices they make. In the end, though, they let go of personal judgements and work together to save the world.

Mostly, I am not interested in making this blog a forum for my own political views.  I do have some strong feelings about politics, but I am satisfied making my opinions known on a secret ballot at the polls and then mostly rendering unto Caesar that which is Caesar’s and thinking about other things.  But.  I’m sure that I’m not the only one right now who is completely weary with the hatred and anger, finger-pointing and lack of personal responsibility on ALL sides of the great political divide in America.

I am a patriot to the core, and our Founding Fathers rate among my very most admired people, and I’m so disappointed in how much meanness and finger pointing there is right now in our country. Instead of shrugging that the candidate some liked wasn’t elected then going on with the business of working to unite and find common ground, our country is locked into a continued election fight.  People didn’t get their way.  I understand.  But holding on to that disappointment is so counterproductive. We are killing our country in favor of unrestrained anger and childish foot-stomping.  Instead of rolling up our sleeves and going to work to fix the issues we face, our leaders are embracing dysfunction, grandstanding and spreading their own tiny agendas as opposed to thinking about fixing the whole.

So, now we know why I like Armageddon and many of a whole genre of end-of-the world stories. I like to be reminded that in some alternate universe it is possible for people to put aside their personal agendas in favor of moving forward for the common good.

Categories: America and American History, Random thoughts on being me | Leave a comment

Traffic Anarchy

Posted on January 15, 2018 by Donna Coulson

When the hurricane twins blew through, they took our electricity with them.  I’ve already talked about that and how wonderful having power back on at the house is.  Another aspect of the storms was that street lights and traffic lights were destroyed and damaged, and the ones that were still standing had no power to them.  Now, thanks to our hero linesmen, some (actually only a few) of the traffic lights have been restored.

Not many.  The result is that since the first of September, St Croix (and the other islands I’m guessing), have lived under a system of traffic anarchy. As you are visualizing what I’m describing, keep in mind that on St. Croix, we drive on the left hand side of the road but our cars are normal American cars where the driver sits on the left.  Add to that vision the reality that our roads are generally quite narrow and weren’t in great shape before the ladies came, and now they are, in some places, really challenging to drive over without falling into pot holes the size of a VW bug.

For several months, no intersection, no matter how busy, had any kind of regulation.  (There was one exception – the most treacherous intersection was graced with a traffic policeman with a whistle beginning just after the storms, and while that made us all feel a bit safer, it increased the time it took to travel through there at least four-fold!) And I think the success of this free-for-all system speaks highly about the kindness and laid-back attitude that makes St Croix special.  Because here’s how it works now under anarchy:  The street that most consider the main road gets the right of way.  That means that you can drive as fast as pot holes allow if you are going with the flow.  Now don’t worry, though, if you are trying to enter that main street from a cross road, you aren’t going to sit there for long, because as cars are driving happily on the main road, if you drive up from a side road, very soon someone on the main road will stop.  Of course, you will probably have to wait a few seconds while the other lane of traffic notices and stops too, but soon both directions will be waiting while the side traffic comes on or through.  With a quick beep on the horn to thank them and a quick beep back in return, traffic clears and everyone goes on their way.  Driving on the main road and needing to turn off?  It works the same way, stop and turn on your blinker.  Soon, someone will notice, stop, beep-beep at you and wait.  You beep back and turn in front.  It’s a beautiful thing to see drivers looking out for one another.  Yes, there are jerks out there and it isn’t all rosy, but in general, traffic anarchy works.  I wonder if it would on the mainland?

Last week, we witnessed another kind of traffic anarchy.  Since our recovery from the ladies started, we’ve had a Carnival ship docked at Frederiksted Pier (just below our house).  It is where most of the lineman and FEMA and other emergency support people from off-island are staying.  Alongside the cruise ship-turned floating apartment complex, there is a tender ship also at the pier. Add to that several private sailboats and catamarans plus a few dive boats and some fishermen and the area around the pier is a busy place.  Then, last week, we had two cruise ships full of tourist dock for the day.  To make room, the Carnival floating apartment building left – it pulled up anchor and went on a small cruise. The tender moved aside and forward, and both cruise ships docked side my side at the pier.  It was a beautiful day and I hope the visitors had a great day. About 5:30, I watched as the Carnival ship made its way back toward its home (I’m sure there were tired linemen waiting pier-side to get a shower and dinner after a long day.) The two cruise ships honked their big horns and started moving and the tender pulled out from the pier.  All fishing boats, sailboats and the dive boats made a quick exit as these huge ships began maneuvering, and Karl and I sat on our front gallery and enjoyed the show.  It didn’t take long for everyone to get sorted out, with the help of the pilot master being ferried between the big ships to help.  One cruise ship went north, one went south, the Carnival apartments tied back up as did the tender, and a slew of tired linemen were soon happy in their rooms and the sun settled into the sea for the night.

Just another day in paradise!

The farthest ship (to the right) is the Carnival floating apartment building. The other two are cruise ships leaving. Look hard just in front of the one to right and you can see the tender behind the trees. The small boat in the middle is the pilot boat!

Categories: Living on St Croix | 3 Comments

The control freak in me is NOT happy

Posted on January 8, 2018 by Donna Coulson

 

There’s a verse in Romans (12:12) that says, “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.”  When I think about that verse, I know that I’m pretty good at one (faithful in prayer), somewhat adequate at one (joyful in hope), and really lousy at one (patient in affliction).   Since ‘the ladies’ (named Irma and Maria) blew through my island, I’ve been tested on all three, and I think God has probably been disappointed in my lack of overall achievement.  It isn’t that I’m not hopeful, but joy has been hard to muster.   It isn’t that I don’t pray, I do, but when I’m honest I know that my prayers can sometimes be bratty temper tirades because I haven’t gotten my way.  Patient is a whole different story. I don’t identify with the idea of a snail’s pace.  Waiting on anyone, and sadly that includes the Lord, is not something I naturally have the time or desire for.  I don’t like just sitting around. Oops.  It’s become clear to me that God intends for me to learn a bit about patience.

Waiting has become the norm for me right now.  I’m waiting for paperwork to be completed, waiting for the insurance company to get back to me, waiting for our wall to be completed (they are working on it!), waiting for our new doors to arrive (they’ve been delayed three times), waiting for a package containing my new internet hot spot that is stuck in the black hole that some people call the Puerto Rico post office. The control freak in me has had to admit that there is nothing I can do or say that will hurry any of these things along.  The control freak in me is NOT happy.  I catch myself being snarky: God, could you please give the people in Puerto Rice brains enough to sort and send my package? (See what I mean about bratty tirades?) Other times I just feel weary and overwhelmed. I know that all is well with my soul, but the rest of me is struggling.

So?  So, I’ve been reading I Samuel.  I love David.  He gets anointed King, but doesn’t take office for a long time.  In fact, he has to wait on the Lord and Saul. In addition, he has to put up with Saul chasing him and trying to kill him.  Do you suppose he ever felt weary and overwhelmed in his wait?  Do you ever think he got snarky in his prayers about Saul?  It makes me feel better to think that maybe he did.  What is important, though, is the story of what David actually did.  He didn’t just sit around waiting.  He went and fought Goliath, he got married, he lived his life each day.  That is a relief to me.  Waiting on the Lord (or the insurance company or the post office), doesn’t mean sitting around doing nothing.  Hmmm.  Okay. The control freak in me feels better with this realization.  I think I’ll post this now and work on a novel.  Then maybe I’ll go scrub the kitchen floor.  I feel better already!

Categories: Living on St Croix, Random thoughts on being me | Leave a comment